这次实际改的是按钮背后的同步逻辑，不是页面文案本身。现在 /contacts/api/update 触发后会：

个人联系人、公众号：已存在就跳过，不存在才写入。
群：不再删库重建，已有群保留；新群会写入。
群成员：已存在就跳过，不存在就写入。
如果成员这次不在群里了，会把 db/contacts_db.py 里的 status 标成 2，前端会显示“已退群”。
如果整个群查不到了，也不再删除群资料，只把该群历史成员标记为“已退群”。
改动在：

robot.py
db/contacts_db.py
我还做了语法校验，py_compile 通过。需要的话我也可以继续帮你把“更新通讯录”按钮的成功提示改成更明确，比如“已完成增量同步，未删除历史数据”。

db/contacts_db.py

@@ -113,12 +113,13 @@ class ContactsDBOperator(BaseDBOperator):
             self.LOG.error(f"创建微信联系人表或群成员表失败: {e}")
             raise
 
-    def save_contacts(self, contacts_data: List[Dict], contact_type: str) -> bool:
+    def save_contacts(self, contacts_data: List[Dict], contact_type: str, only_insert: bool = False) -> bool:
         """保存联系人信息到数据库
         
         Args:
             contacts_data: 联系人数据列表
             contact_type: 联系人类型，可选值：'friends', 'chatrooms', 'ghs'
+            only_insert: 为True时仅写入不存在的联系人，已存在则跳过
         
         Returns:
             bool: 是否成功保存
@@ -165,14 +166,18 @@ class ContactsDBOperator(BaseDBOperator):
                 placeholders = ', '.join(['%s'] * len(data))
                 values = tuple(data.values())
 
-                # 使用INSERT ... ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE语法
-                update_clause = ', '.join([f"{k}=VALUES({k})" for k in data.keys() if k != 'user_name'])
-
-                sql = f"""
-                INSERT INTO t_wechat_contacts ({fields})
-                VALUES ({placeholders})
-                ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE {update_clause}
-                """
+                if only_insert:
+                    sql = f"""
+                    INSERT IGNORE INTO t_wechat_contacts ({fields})
+                    VALUES ({placeholders})
+                    """
+                else:
+                    update_clause = ', '.join([f"{k}=VALUES({k})" for k in data.keys() if k != 'user_name'])
+                    sql = f"""
+                    INSERT INTO t_wechat_contacts ({fields})
+                    VALUES ({placeholders})
+                    ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE {update_clause}
+                    """
 
                 self.execute_update(sql, values)
 
@@ -315,7 +320,7 @@ class ContactsDBOperator(BaseDBOperator):
             self.LOG.error(f"获取所有联系人信息失败: {e}")
             return {}
 
-    def save_chatroom_member_simple(self, chatroom_id: str, member_details: List[Dict]) -> bool:
+    def save_chatroom_member_simple(self, chatroom_id: str, member_details: List[Dict], only_insert: bool = False) -> bool:
         """
         保存群成员简要信息到数据库，兼容不同数据结构
         Args:
@@ -367,13 +372,18 @@ class ContactsDBOperator(BaseDBOperator):
                 placeholders = ', '.join(['%s'] * len(data))
                 values = tuple(data.values())
 
-                update_clause = ', '.join([f"{k}=VALUES({k})" for k in data.keys() if k not in ('chatroom_id', 'wxid')])
-
-                sql = f"""
-                INSERT INTO t_chatroom_member ({fields})
-                VALUES ({placeholders})
-                ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE {update_clause}
-                """
+                if only_insert:
+                    sql = f"""
+                    INSERT IGNORE INTO t_chatroom_member ({fields})
+                    VALUES ({placeholders})
+                    """
+                else:
+                    update_clause = ', '.join([f"{k}=VALUES({k})" for k in data.keys() if k not in ('chatroom_id', 'wxid')])
+                    sql = f"""
+                    INSERT INTO t_chatroom_member ({fields})
+                    VALUES ({placeholders})
+                    ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE {update_clause}
+                    """
 
                 self.execute_update(sql, values)
 
@@ -567,6 +577,52 @@ class ContactsDBOperator(BaseDBOperator):
             self.LOG.error(f"更新群聊{chatroom_id}信息失败: {e}")
             return False
 
+    def mark_chatroom_members_left(self, chatroom_id: str, active_member_wxids: Optional[List[str]] = None) -> bool:
+        """将不在当前群成员列表中的用户标记为已退群。"""
+        try:
+            active_member_wxids = [wxid for wxid in (active_member_wxids or []) if wxid]
+            if active_member_wxids:
+                placeholders = ', '.join(['%s'] * len(active_member_wxids))
+                sql = f"""
+                UPDATE t_chatroom_member
+                SET status = 2
+                WHERE chatroom_id = %s AND wxid NOT IN ({placeholders})
+                """
+                params = (chatroom_id, *active_member_wxids)
+            else:
+                sql = """
+                UPDATE t_chatroom_member
+                SET status = 2
+                WHERE chatroom_id = %s
+                """
+                params = (chatroom_id,)
+
+            self.execute_update(sql, params)
+            self.LOG.info(f"已将群 {chatroom_id} 中缺失成员标记为已退群")
+            return True
+        except Exception as e:
+            self.LOG.error(f"标记群{chatroom_id}成员退群失败: {e}")
+            return False
+
+    def mark_chatroom_members_active(self, chatroom_id: str, active_member_wxids: List[str]) -> bool:
+        """将当前仍在群里的成员标记为在群。"""
+        try:
+            active_member_wxids = [wxid for wxid in (active_member_wxids or []) if wxid]
+            if not active_member_wxids:
+                return True
+
+            placeholders = ', '.join(['%s'] * len(active_member_wxids))
+            sql = f"""
+            UPDATE t_chatroom_member
+            SET status = 1
+            WHERE chatroom_id = %s AND wxid IN ({placeholders})
+            """
+            self.execute_update(sql, (chatroom_id, *active_member_wxids))
+            return True
+        except Exception as e:
+            self.LOG.error(f"恢复群{chatroom_id}成员在群状态失败: {e}")
+            return False
+
     def delete_chatroom_info(self, chatroom_id: str) -> bool:
         """删除群信息"""
         try:

robot.py

@@ -630,66 +630,83 @@ class Robot:
 
     async def refresh_contacts_db(self):
         """刷新联系人信息"""
-        # 获取用户所有的联系人，并保存到数据库
         self.LOG.info("开始刷新联系人信息")
-        # 删除所有的联系人信息
-        self.contacts_db.delete_all_contacts()
-        self.LOG.debug("已删除所有的联系人信息")
         contacts = await self.ipad_bot.get_contract_list()
         self.LOG.debug(f"获取到的联系人：{contacts}")
-        # 获取联系人详细信息,get_contract_detail每次可以获取20个
-        # 每次获取20个，需要循环获取
-        # 将联系人列表分成每组20个
         batch_size = 20
+        discovered_groups = set()
         for i in range(0, len(contacts), batch_size):
-            # 获取当前批次的联系人
             batch_contacts = contacts[i:i + batch_size]
-            # 获取这批联系人的详细信息
             contact_info = await self.ipad_bot.get_contract_detail(batch_contacts)
             self.LOG.debug(f"获取到的联系人详细信息数量：{len(contact_info)}")
-            self.contacts_db.save_contacts(contact_info, "friends")
+            friend_contacts = []
+            official_contacts = []
+
+            for contact in contact_info:
+                user_name = contact.get("UserName")
+                if isinstance(user_name, dict):
+                    user_name = user_name.get("string", "")
+                user_name = user_name or ""
+
+                if not user_name:
+                    continue
+
+                if user_name.endswith("@chatroom"):
+                    discovered_groups.add(user_name)
+                    if not self.contacts_db.get_chatroom_info(user_name):
+                        self.contacts_db.save_chatroom_info(contact)
+                    continue
+
+                if user_name.startswith("gh_"):
+                    official_contacts.append(contact)
+                else:
+                    friend_contacts.append(contact)
+
+            if friend_contacts:
+                self.contacts_db.save_contacts(friend_contacts, "friends", only_insert=True)
+            if official_contacts:
+                self.contacts_db.save_contacts(official_contacts, "ghs", only_insert=True)
 
-        # 获取群聊列表
         groups = self.contacts_db.get_chatroom_list()
-        # 调用接口完成群成员信息获取与保存逻辑
         for group in groups:
-            # 调用接口获取群成员信息
             group_id = group["chatroom_id"]
+            discovered_groups.add(group_id)
             chatroom_info = await self.ipad_bot.get_chatroom_info(group_id)
             self.LOG.debug(f"获取到的群成员信息：{chatroom_info}")
             if chatroom_info.get("UserName", ""):
-                # 保存群信息到数据库
-                self.contacts_db.save_chatroom_info(chatroom_info)
                 members = await self.ipad_bot.get_chatroom_member_list(group_id)
-                # 保存群成员信息
                 if members:
-                    # 清除所有的成员信息， 重新写入。
-                    self.contacts_db.delete_chatroom_members_info(group_id)
-                    # 兼容逻辑已放到save_chatroom_member_simple内部
-                    self.contacts_db.save_chatroom_member_simple(group_id, members)
-                    self.LOG.info(f"member_list: {members}")
-                    # 更新联系人缓存
+                    active_member_wxids = []
                     for member in members:
                         wxid = member.get("UserName", "")
-                        nick_name = member.get("NickName", "")
-                        displayName = member.get("DisplayName", "")
-                        small_head_img_url = member.get("SmallHeadImgUrl", "")
-                        # 如果displayName不为空，使用displayName
-                        if displayName:
-                            nick_name = displayName
+                        if isinstance(wxid, dict):
+                            wxid = wxid.get("string", "")
                         if wxid:
-                            self.allContacts[wxid] = nick_name
+                            active_member_wxids.append(wxid)
 
-                        self.head_images[wxid] = small_head_img_url
-
-                    self.LOG.info(f"已更新群 {group_id} 的成员信息")
+                    self.contacts_db.mark_chatroom_members_active(group_id, active_member_wxids)
+                    self.contacts_db.mark_chatroom_members_left(group_id, active_member_wxids)
+                    self.contacts_db.save_chatroom_member_simple(group_id, members, only_insert=True)
+                    self.LOG.info(f"已增量同步群 {group_id} 的成员信息")
+                else:
+                    self.contacts_db.mark_chatroom_members_left(group_id, [])
+                    self.LOG.warning(f"群 {group_id} 当前未获取到成员列表，已将历史成员标记为已退群")
             else:
-                self.LOG.error(f"获取群 {group_id} 信息失败，证明用户无该群信息，删除群的相关资料。")
-                # 删除群数据库中的群信息
-                self.contacts_db.delete_chatroom_all_info(group_id)
-                self.allContacts.pop(group_id)
+                self.LOG.warning(f"获取群 {group_id} 信息失败，保留群资料并将成员标记为已退群。")
+                self.contacts_db.mark_chatroom_members_left(group_id, [])
+
+        for group_id in discovered_groups:
+            if not self.contacts_db.get_chatroom_info(group_id):
+                chatroom_info = await self.ipad_bot.get_chatroom_info(group_id)
+                if chatroom_info.get("UserName", ""):
+                    self.contacts_db.save_chatroom_info(chatroom_info)
+                    members = await self.ipad_bot.get_chatroom_member_list(group_id)
+                    if members:
+                        self.contacts_db.save_chatroom_member_simple(group_id, members, only_insert=True)
 
         friends = await self.ipad_bot.get_contract_list()
+        self.allContacts = self.get_all_contacts()
+        self.head_images = self.get_all_head_images()
         self.all_chatroom_members = self.contacts_db.get_chatroom_member_list_name_all()
         self.contact_manager.set_contacts(self.allContacts, friends, self.head_images,
                                           self.all_chatroom_members)